搞笑英文版：2017年新年愿望

Check out these funny and innovative New Year's Resolutions! Enjoy these and make some for yourself...Surely you will enjoy!!

Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

我决定今天不再穿着睡衣在客厅里宅一天，我要把电脑搬到卧室去。

I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.

我不会再把时间浪费在反省过去上，我要把它们用来担心未来。

I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

我不会再用那些借口跟老板请假了，我要想一些新的理由。

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

新年里，我要减少洗衣服的次数，多用除臭剂。

I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.

我要尽可能避免洗澡，节省水资源。2017年新年愿望

Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing.

向我的律师保证，再也不会喝醉了上拘留所。

I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly....

我要戒掉巧克力，完全地，绝对地，彻底地……

I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses.

我要弄清楚为什么我会有9个电子邮箱。

I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).

我不再给我的老公（老婆）写电子邮件了。

I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.

我要和那个不争气的孩子——我自己，一起加油。